Its not Perimenopause until someone shaves their head

  There comes a time in every woman's life where you have to decide if sweat is the look you are really wanting to go with.
 It was a tough one for me but this year I shaved my head to say FUCK you to Perimenopause and also because it was March and I hadn't started my hormone care rituals until April, therefore, I had emotional ADHD.
  I almost made it but this one day happened and we all know the perimenopausal mind does not give a shit what plans you had, you will shave your head today. Why? Well because ...WOMAN POWER! and also I was done being the area of moisture every time I entered a building.

 March 13, 2019. I woke up drenched in sweat as I threw my wool blanket across the room knocking over every single race medal we own.
  It was a good morning.
I peeled my layers of wetness off as I sat cold, wet and now naked on the toilet.
 I thought of the things I could do that day. Maybe I would skate the trails downtown or go to the local brewery and have an adult beverage. Who knew. Today was going to be awesome because I was going to a party that night and I was going to color my hair a silver and blonde mix.

  Oh, those scissors just made me realize I have been meaning to look at shorter cuts also.


 OR...... I could go ahead and start the process by taking a few inches off the sides and back so it's already a lengthy layer and the shoulder-length I want to achieve. I was still wet and I was still cold in this brain conversation I was having so I picked up my old I love weed shirt and became Edward scissor-hands.
 I snipped and layered and cut with pizzazz and I watch the inches fall off until it was all over. I had just inadvertently shaved my head with scissors.
 Literally, I did that in a matter of a three-minute decision while peeing and looking at scissors.
  There I was and there was my head. Bald as hell and cold,  so cold now that I was bald.

 Was I feeling liberated or insane? Again, I ask this often of myself.
 Let me ask my oldest son to decide.
 He sort of stared at me for a few minutes and said can I feel it. Because what the fuck else do you say when someone shaves their head? Can I touch it is literally the only thing that makes sense because no one in my family was going to ask a motive...we don't do that in perimenopause.

 Obviously, my short pixie cut looked adorable to everyone. I could put a cute headband on and it would be adorable and mussy.
 When it finally dawned on me how low I had cut it I had an hour to get to my party and zero time to decide what my answer to people would be.

  Mind you I felt empowered for sure. This was the weirdest thing besides a nose ring I had done ....well the contractual sperm donor thing too but still. I had a job on Monday and I hadn't a clue how I was going to show up with not even half an inch of hair wrapped in a headband. It's a very uncute look. I tried. The more shit I tried to attach to my military hair the more my eyes would widen and I would let out a 'i fucked this shit up" laugh. Ha. Haha. Ha.

 The evening came and as I suspected there were many can I touch it questions and zero hey, that is a good look on you comments.  I did have one guy ask me why I did that to my head and I got super defensive about to explain I had done it all for him and for him to ask me that very question but instead I just made a weird duck face and shrugged my shoulders because I really hadn't a clue how this even happened.

 I had two of my closest girlfriends there and we were always looking on point, lips, hair, clothes everything. Not that night. I looked like the door person because suddenly my gal friends that took zero pics of me that night let me grab the door for everyone.

  It has now been almost 6 months since I shaved my head and I have no regrets. It ended up being a very liberating thing to do for myself and it was my biggest F you to perimenopause yet. This shit isn't easy and it feels like we are at war with our physical body and mental mind. There should be a wealth of awareness but there isn't and it's very much needed in today's society.

 If I wasn't in the career I am I may have not done as much research into what was happening and gotten help outside of doctors that refused to listen. I would have been just another Britney Spears joke about how I went mental one year and shaved my head. The fact was, that was the boldest thing I had ever done in taking a stand against in my life-changing too quickly.
 It was like Joan of Arc emerging from the fire or the legend of Billie Jean.

 Fair is Fair!

 I don't know what emotions I was dealing with that day I started cutting but at the time each cut was a new beginning and each hair that fell was the past. That day my emotional side of perimenopause took over and allowed me to make a sort of rash decision that luckily fared well for me. But those are the things I am saying about the mind and body when they are not working together.
I was letting go of an image. For years I was told my hair was the thing that was so beautiful about me so I hid behind it. That day my face was there for all to see.
 I was coming out of this cocoon of perimenopause with my gloves on face forward and wide awake.

 The balance going into this is so important or you will find yourself making quick choices you may not have made if you thought a little bit longer. That goes for more than hair.

 Not one woman said a negative comment about me shaving my head only men that didn't get it or thought I looked better before as they would say in the comments. My female friends did nothing but support me and my shaved head.
 I doubt any of them will ever know what caused it to happen as it was based on impulse and hormonal changes that morning, but it mattered because it changed me.



 Someone recently asked me if I was going through something.
 Every day of my life since becoming a woman friend.