Perimenopause, What happened to my skin!

 Why are we so hard on ourselves? We are beautiful. We are allowed to be beautiful and celebrate feeling happy.

 I am about to really shock some people and expose myself tremendously, but I am a fan of building women up and supporting one another even if it's not my own personal journey. I would hope readers would feel the same about when I expose myself and allow people to get a real sneak peek into my life. The insecurities and issues we face as women are tremendous and we should all feel good about ourselves. Right? Think about a time you felt beautiful. What made you feel that way? Did your dress or jeans fit right, your hair just perfect, maybe a stranger gave you a second glance and smile. All of these are great validations but we should be feeling this confident all the time and let's face it we don't. Between what society makes us think we need to look like, and the constant stressing over diet and health..we are in a perpetual battle. Very few people are perfectly content with themselves otherwise the beauty industry would be bankrupt. I was watching the skin I once knew diminish in front of me. Memories of a time when people told me how nice my skin was were gone I was full of crepey sagging on the left side and aging at a faster rate on that side in general. By the time I hit 45, I had been accustom to hiding the left side of my face entirely and rarely went anywhere without my hair covering my eye and cheek. It was depressing. I tried to express my concerns to my Botox guy but he would shake his head and tell me no amount of filler of botox could fix the loss of elastin and collagen I was experiencing. Perimenopause was now beginning to take a toll on my face and skin and I was so sad to see the little happiness and confidence I had ....leave. So if you are wondering what the side effects of perimenopause on the skin are...I am about to show you. When you start aging from 40 to 45, you notice things. For me, it was the dull skin and sucked-in-looking cheeks, I was aging so quickly that I looked almost 5 years older if not ten on the left side of my body. In general, the areas that were exposed most to the sun and were riddled with hyperpigmentation were raging with hormonal anger. All the life in my skin looked lackluster and depressed, much like I felt when I looked in the mirror. I dreaded makeup and once loved getting dressed up. I was so insecure I would obsess over it and trust me it wasn't in my head, even my dermatologist said I must not have protected my skin for it to be in that condition at this young of an age. Plus I had already treated three skin cancers, One being a well-documented Melanoma cured with cannabis. It was high time ( that was not intended) that I got my skin in order and stopped the fillers and injections that were not solving the problem. I was wasting money with endless products and fillers that were dragging my face even more towards gravity. I was someone I didn't recognize and so depressed. These are some of my before photos that were taken mid pandemic.

I began researching a lot through the pandemic on how much a mini facelift was, knowing that would be the only options I had to stop the sagging. I was very fortunate to locate two videos that changed my thoughts about going under the proverbial knife. One was a lady that had actually done laser resurfacing and explained what she went through. The other was a Doctor named Dr. Rajani. You can find his youtube channel here.  

 His video was one of the very very few that were specific about the DOT Smartxide laser I was considering. It was literally my chance to wipe years of mistakes of my skin and potentially stop any new cancers from surfacing. I obsessed over anything I could find on lasers until I was confident I was going to choose this for my face. I understood the risks were low but they existed and I was of course concerned it may not work. I was willing to do that over a $5000.00 mini laser facelift that was surgical cut. So I did it. Every day of my healing was really interesting and I tried to document everything I could to ensure I could help other women looking at this treatment for themselves. What was it like? Well, it was a ride. Firstly I had my first appointment where they assessed my skin to see if I was a candidate. My nurse practitioner was awesome. She did not try to upsell me or sell me a dream by any means. She knew I wanted to combat crepey skin and fine lines around my forehead, lips, cheeks, and eyes and she was convinced I would be a great candidate for the Co2 laser. I was about to fork out over $3500.00 on my face but the more I considered I was spending on fillers and botox, it made sense. As far as the psychological issues I had attached to my face and the fact I would soon be competing in a job market with people younger than me and who probably would nail an interview with self-confidence for sure. I knew this was a step in the right direction to hang onto my sanity and not completely give in to the Perimenopausal nightmare that was stripping my youth away for a decade. The day of the surgery I showed up with my pain meds, and 1 gram of cannabis concentration already eaten. I was prepared. They stuck the eye shields in and I can honestly say this was indeed the worst part of the experience. I fought like hell and regardless of what the nurses and staff thought, I could still see them eye-rolling over me squirming away as they tried to force metal disks into my eyeballs. Success. I hated it though and that was the only pain I experienced at all that day. The ride home was pretty intense after the actual laser therapy. The heat was definitely amped up at that time. My face was on fire and I had to have my mum grab a fan from the store to get home. Followed by a night of major swelling and redness, I was already healing. I imagined healing would be so much harder but the laser itself was only 25 minutes and I was already peeling by days 3 and 4. By day 7 I was red but pretty. I was so excited to see some of the new skin emerging and shocked to see little freckles I had for years just wipe away. It was actually kinda cool. Here are some healing photos.

Was it worth it?

Oh my gosh, Yes!! 

If I could grant this gift to every aging woman it would be my gift to you all. I wanted something that would help me build collagen and start a new skincare regimen that was appropriate and good for my new face. I did not expect the amazing results I got. I was expecting a possible 40%-60% improvement and I truly believe I got my money's worth. I have yet to hide my face or feel a need to make someone sit on the right of me. My confidence had everything to do with me landing a recent job and feeling confident going into my major and field now. I do not think this was a selfish thing to do or feel it makes me a shallow person. I hope that it helps me repair the immense damage I have made by living in the Florida sun with no regard for her strength. She is mighty and she will show up on your skin eventually.

The laser I chose was one I felt would not remove all my face layers, rather give me the placement of areas to target hardest and they did that on the left and in the cancer scars quite heavily. I believe they hit the old ex-smoker lines twice and those are completely gone. I seriously couldn't be happier with the decision and hope to share my good results with other women that are looking for solutions, not bandaids.

 

I wish perimenopause hadn't struck me so hard. It seemed to all come at once. From the emotional breakdowns to the self-confidence leaving for a while, I had almost thrown in the towel and decided this was the way it was. We do not have to feel guilty for needing self-care. it is so important to make sure you are feeling happy and whatever it takes to get you there....do that!